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Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter. 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping....
Life before marriage is HOTLINK
" u can express your self ".
During honeymoon is TMTOUCH
"Always get in Touch ".
After Honeymoon is MAXIS
"Wherever u go your wife network follows".
After one year Life is DIGI
"your wife can change your life ".
After 10 years Life is CELCOM
"Subscriber is not reachable "
" u can express your self ".
During honeymoon is TMTOUCH
"Always get in Touch ".
After Honeymoon is MAXIS
"Wherever u go your wife network follows".
After one year Life is DIGI
"your wife can change your life ".
After 10 years Life is CELCOM
"Subscriber is not reachable "
- Answer the phone by LEFT ear
- Do not drink coffee TWICE a day
- Do not take pills with COLD water
- Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm
- Reduce the amount of TEA you consume
- Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume
- Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night
- Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS
- Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time
- Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning
- Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping
- When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times
Suatu pagi seorang anak yang baru masuk sekolah primary bertanya kepada ayahnya, 'Ayah. ayah....sex tu apa, ayah..?'
Terkulat-kulat si ayah. Terfikir dia tentang arus kemodenan zaman sekarang yang membuatkan manusia berfikiran terbuka, termasuklah anak- anak yang masih kecil.. Sesuai dengan konsep pendidikan seks yang sedang hangat dibincangkan, mulalah si ayah mencari-cari jawapan yang sesuai dengan harapan anaknya takkan tertinggal dalam arus pendidikan moden.
Maka si ayah pun memberikan jawapan secara mengkiaskan kumbang dan bunga,telur yang yang menetaskan berudu dan seterusnya menjadi katak, hujan serta benih yang mencetuskan tunas, diikuti dengan pembentukan bayi dalam kandungan.
Sebelum mengakhiri jawapannya itu, si ayah menyelitkan pula kisah percintaan antara dia dan mamanya sejak dari zaman sekolah menengah lagi hinggalah kepada kelahiran seorang bayi comel iaitu si anak yang bertanya itu.
Tiba-tiba si anak menangis teresak-esak. Si ayah kehairanan. 'Eh kenapa ni?' Si ayah bertanya kehairanan.
Si anak masih juga menangis. 'Jawapan ayah tu panjang sangat, tapi tempat nak tulis jawapan ni pendek. Ayah ajalah yang tulis, waaaaa!!!!'
Kata si anak lantas menyerahkan buku latihan Bahasa Inggerisnya yang pada muka depan tertulis....
NAME : __________________
SCHOOL : ________________
CLASS : __________________
SEX : ____________________
This is an important tip before purchase a bike
PLEASE make sure the color of bike seat is taken into consideration!
Otherwise, you'll look like this....
PLEASE make sure the color of bike seat is taken into consideration!
Otherwise, you'll look like this....
In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.
A nurse noticed his predicament. " Sir", she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA , PP, and a red one abeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. He was immediately knocked out by an excruciating pain.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
"What happened?" he exclaimed. "The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button."
"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your testicles are now in this jar, sir."
Dari Abdullah bin Umar RA.bahwa Rasulullah SAW. bersabda:
‘Puasa dan Al Qur’an memberi syafaat kepada hamba Allah pada hari kiamat. Puasa berkata, ‘Wahai Tuhanku, aku telah menghalanginya makan minum dan memenuhi syahwatnya pada siang hari, maka perkenankanlah aku memberi syafaat baginya.’ Dan Al Qur’an pun berkata, ‘Aku telah menghalanginya tidur pada malam hari, maka perkenankanlah aku memberi syafaat baginya.’ Lalu syafaat keduanya diterima Allah.’
Hadith Riwayat Ahmad
Ya Allah! Sedarkanlah Aku Akan Berkah-Berkah Yang Terdapat Di Saat Saharnya. Dan Sinarilah Hatiku Dengan Terang Cahayanya Dan Bimbinglah Aku Dan Seluruh Anggota Tubuhku Untuk Dapat Mengikuti Ajaran-Ajarannya, Demi Cahaya-Mu Wahai Penerang Hati Para Arifin.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning boss. Happy Birthday."
And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon.
Then, Janet knocked on my door and said "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday let's go to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Wow, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go." We went lunch.
We didn't go where we normally go; we went out to the country to a little private place. We
had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said,
"You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"
I said, "No, I guess not.".
She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable."
"Sure," I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake,
followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.
And there I sat, on the couch..........NAKED!!
Titian As Sirat adalah jambatan yang merentangi neraka menuju ke syurga itu bersifat fleksibel. Ia boleh membesar, mengecil, memendek dan memanjang mengikut kumpulan yang akan melintasinya.
Jika orang beriman, pastilah ia akan melebar dan memendek. Manakala bagi orang kafir, ia akan mengecil dan memanjang. Antara yang akan turut berarak menuju ke syurga ialah kaabah. Malaikat datang membawa perintah Allah kepada kaabah yang dihias indah pada hari itu supaya
bergerak menuju ke syurga.
Yang menghairankan, biarpun kaabah tahu itu perintah Allah, namun ia enggan bergerak. Lalu malaikat bertanya kenapa enggan bergerak ke syurga. Kaabah menjawab bahawa ia tidak akan bergerak ke syurga melainkan jika diiringi oleh semua manusia yang pernah tawaf di sekelilingnya.
Lalu malaikat mengumpulkan semua yang pernah tawaf untuk mengiringi kaabah ke syurga. Kaabah terus mendiamkan diri tak mahu bergerak. Malaikat bertanya lagi kenapa tak mahu bergerak. Kaabah menjawab, ada lagi beberapa orang yang tidak hadir.. Apabila diperiksa, rupa-rupanya orang-orang berkenaan telah dilempar ke dalam neraka kerana kesalahan
yang pernah mereka lakukan di dunia.
Malaikat maklumkan bahawa orang berkenaan adalah orang-orang yang berdosa dan perlu disiksa di dalam neraka. Kaabah berkata, ia tidak peduli orang itu berdosa atau tidak. Yang
penting ia tidak akan bergerak ke syurga melainkan diiringi oleh semua orang yang pernah tawaf di sekelilingnya.
Malaikat mengadu kepada Allah tentang hal yang berlaku. Allah yang Maha Pengampun dan Maha Mengasihani terus mengisytiharkan bahawa orang-orang itu telah diampunkan dosa mereka. Mereka lantas di bawa keluar daripada neraka dan mengiringi kaabah menuju ke syurga.
TSOK: Jika ada rezeki lebey, tunaikan la fardhu haji dan umrah.. moga kita akan diberkati
7 qualities to be a perfect wife:
Beautiful
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful
Self-Organized
In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T.S
Beautiful
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful
Self-Organized
In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T.S
A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married. His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha, a girl from the neighborhood.
With a sad face the old man said to his son, ''I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.''
The young man again brought three more names to his father but ended up frustrated because the response was still the same.
So he decides to go to his mother. ''Mom I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.''
His mother smiling said to him, ''Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls. You're not his son.
A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He Said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause.
A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink.
He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
The wife went ; "Ah!" with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!"
By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.
Remember when your mother told you never to take lollies from a stranger??
Do you know why she said that??
Do you know why she said that??
Before marriage....
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
..............
After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
..............
After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.
'Hello?' 'Hi, honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?' 'No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
***Brief Pause***
Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.' 'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.'
***Brief Pause.***
'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.' 'Okay Daddy, just a minute.' A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. 'I did it Daddy'
And what happened honey?' 'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!'
'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?' 'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, 'Swimming pool ? We dont have a swimming pool Ah, is this 486-5731 ??' No, this is 486-5713.... .
'SORRY WRONG NUMBER !'
The Champions League group stage drawn held yesterday. The first round of group games will take place on September 14 and 15, with the final taking place on Wembley on 18 May 2010
Here the final drawn;
Group A
1. Tottenham Hotspur FC
2. FC Twente
3. FC Internazionale Milano
4. SV Werder Bremen
Group B
1. Hapoel Tel-Aviv FC
2. Olympique Lyonnais
3. FC Schalke 04
4. SL Benfica
Group C
1. Valencia CF
2. Manchester United FC
3. Rangers FC
4. Bursaspor
Group D
1. FC Rubin Kazan
2. FC Barcelona
3. Panathinaikos FC
4. FC København
Group E
1. FC Basel 1893
2. FC Bayern München
3. AS Roma
4. CFR 1907 Cluj
Group F
1. Chelsea FC
2. Olympique de Marseille
3. FC Spartak Moskva
4. MŠK Žilina
Group G
1. AJ Auxerre
2. Real Madrid CF
3. AFC Ajax
4. AC Milan
Group H
1. FK Partizan
2. Arsenal FC
3. SC Braga
4. FC Shakhtar Donetsk
1. Hapoel Tel-Aviv FC
2. Olympique Lyonnais
3. FC Schalke 04
4. SL Benfica
Group C
1. Valencia CF
2. Manchester United FC
3. Rangers FC
4. Bursaspor
Group D
1. FC Rubin Kazan
2. FC Barcelona
3. Panathinaikos FC
4. FC København
Group E
1. FC Basel 1893
2. FC Bayern München
3. AS Roma
4. CFR 1907 Cluj
Group F
1. Chelsea FC
2. Olympique de Marseille
3. FC Spartak Moskva
4. MŠK Žilina
Group G
1. AJ Auxerre
2. Real Madrid CF
3. AFC Ajax
4. AC Milan
Group H
1. FK Partizan
2. Arsenal FC
3. SC Braga
4. FC Shakhtar Donetsk
Diriwayatkan daripada Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri RA;Aku mendengar Rasulullah SAW bersabda;
‘Barangsiapa yang berpuasa sehari pada jalan Allah nescaya Allah akan menjauhkan mukanya dari api neraka (sejauh perjalanan) 70 tahun.’
Hadith Riwayat Bukhari
Ya Allah! Tunjukkanlah Aku Kepada Amal Kebajikan Dan Penuhilah Hajat Serta Cita-Cita Ku. Wahai Yang Maha Mengetahui Keperluan, Tanpa Pengungkapan Permohonan. Wahai Yang Maha Mengetahui Segala Yang Ada Didalam Hati Seluruh Isi Alam. Sholawat Atas Mohammad Dan Keluarganya Yang Suci.
Seorang suami baru kematian isteri yang amat dikasihinya. Ketika suasana kesedihan di tanah perkuburan, sesudah imam membaca taklin, si suami terus menyiram air mawar, bukan satu cerek atau satu jar seperti kebiasaan orang, malah terus satu baldi.
Para hadirin merasakan tindak tanduk itu membayangkan betapa kasihnya suami ini kepada isterinya. Ramai yang bercucuran airmata melihat senario ini romantik ini. Tak kurang juga ramai daripada kalangan para hadirin yang berbisik di hati masing-masing betapa bernasib baik arwah mendapat suami yang bergitu setia dengan kasih sayang yang sedemikian solid.
Namum bagi kenalan rapat, tindak tanduk si suami ini mula minimbulkan tanda tanya apabila setiap pagi, tengahari dan malam si suami itu masih menyiram air di pusara arwah isterinya, bukannya secerek malah masih sebaldi serta ditaburkan baja. Kadang-kadang mereka mendapati beliau membawa kanta sambil meninjau dengan penuh teliti seolah-olah membuat kajian di atas tanah tersebut. Malah beberapa hari kemudian mereka telah melihat beliau memasang sprinkler di atas tanah perkuburan tersebut.
Apabila sudah masuk dua minggu amalan aneh ini berterusan, maka ada yang membuka mulut bertanya dan sekali gus ingin menasihati kerana bimbang takut-takut si suami ini semakin hilang akal lantaran kerinduan yang teramat sangat.
Apabila ditanya, si suami menjawab : "Arwah isteri ku telah berpesan, jika beliau meninggal, janganlah kahwin lain sehingga rumput atas kuburnya tumbuh. Itulah sebabnya aku terpaksa siram sedemikian rupa untuk memastikan rumput agar cepat tumbuh!"
Seorang Executive muda yang berjaya sedang memandu disebuah perkampungan di pinggir Bandar. Ia memandu agak laju dengan sebuah kereta Waja yang berprestasi tinggi yang baru sahaja dibelinya.
Sambil ia memandu perlahan-lahan ia sedang memerhatikan seorang anak kecil dicelah-celah kereta yang diletakkan ditepi jalan, ia emperlahankan keretanya untuk melihat sesuatu yang difikirkannya.
Seelok-elok sahaja kereta Waja tersebut melintasi kawasan tersebut, anak kecil tidak kelihatan tetapi seketul batu dilontarkan tepat mengena pintu disebelah kanan kereta Waja tersebut. Apalagi Executive muda tersebut menekan brek sekuat hatinya dan berundur ke tempat dimana Anak kecil tadi berdiri.
Dengan marahnya dia keluar dari kereta terus meluru ke arah Anak kecil, menarik tangan anak kecil dan menghempasnya ke kereta yang terletak ditepi jalan dan terus memarahi Anak kecil tadi.
"Apa ni ? Siapa awak ? dan apa ke jadahnya awak berada disini ? Itu kereta baru, mahal dan susah nak baiki ? Awak tau tak ? Kenapa awak buat ini semua ?" jerit Executive tersebut..
Anak kecil itu tunduk sedih, sayu dan memohon maaf, "Saya meminta maaf Pakcik, Saya tak tahu apa patut saya buat, ia merayu. Saya melontar batu kerana tak ada orang yang berhenti disini apabila saya panggil".
Dengan linangan air mata ia menunjukkan ke satu sudut yang tidak jauh dari situ. "Itu abang saya , ia jatuh dari kerusi roda dari tebing di sebelah dan tak ada orang yang dapat mengangkatnya kembali. Boleh tak Pakcik menolong saya, ia cedera dan ia terlalu berat untuk saya. '
Dengan rasa terharu, Executive muda tersebut melepaskan anak kecil tersebut dan terus mengangkat abangnya dan meletakkannya kembali ke kerusi roda. Terima kasih, pakcik. Saya doakan pakcik selamat dunia dan akhirat."
Tak dapat digambarkan dengan perkataan, Executive muda hanya melihat dengan sayu, Anak kecil tersebut menyorong abangnya yang cacat dan cedera pulang menuju ke rumahnya. Anak sekecil itu boleh mendoakannya akan kesejahteraan hidupnya.
Executive muda tersebut berjalan perlahan ke arah kereta, Waja kemek teruk tetapi ia membiarkan saja tanpa dibaiki. Ia mengigatkannya bahawa kita tidak perlu berkejar-kejar dalam kehidupan ini sehinggakan seseorang melontar batu hanya kerana hendakkan perhatian .
TSOK: Balinglah batu jika inginkan perhatian.. LOL
These are from a book called 'Disorder' in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Here are some funny word that had been recordedATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a depositionATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
These are from a book called 'Disorder' in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Here are some funny word that had been recordedATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Is this a trick question?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was getting laid!
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shi * in' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
These are from a book called 'Disorder' in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Here are some funny word that had been recorded
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
A doctor advises his patients to exercise their neck by just reading this message.
In the end, all patients go home happily without asking the doctor for any medications.
'It is very effective,' said the doctor.
'All my patients never come back to me again.'
In the end, all patients go home happily without asking the doctor for any medications.
'It is very effective,' said the doctor.
'All my patients never come back to me again.'
Sepasang suami isteri berjalan di tepi sebuah tasik yang indah. Kemudian mereka berhenti di sebuah bangku yang disediakan di tepi tasik. Kemudian si isteri bertanya kepada si suami.
Isteri : 'Mengapa abang menyukai saya? Mengapa abang cintakan saya?'
Suami : 'Abang tidak boleh menerangkan sebabnya, namun begitu abang memang menyayangi dan mencintai Sayang!'
Isteri : 'Abang tak boleh terangkan sebabnya? Bagaimana abang boleh katakan abang sayang dan cintakan saya sedangkan abang tidak boleh menerangkannya.'
Suami : 'Betul! Abang tak tahu sebabnya tetapi abang boleh buktikan bahawa abang memang cintakan Sayang!'
Isteri : 'Tak boleh beri bukti! Tidak! Saya hendak abang terangkan kepada saya sebabnya. Kawan-kawan saya yang lain yang mempunyai suami dan teman lelaki, semuanya tahu menerangkan mengapa mereka mencintai. Dalam bentuk puisi dan syair lagi. Namun begitu abang tidak boleh terangkan sebabnya.'
Si suami menarik nafas panjang dan dia berkata "Baiklah! Abang mencintai Sayang sebab sayang cantik, mempunyai suara yang merdu, penyayang dan mengingati abang selalu. Abang juga sukakan senyuman manis dan setiap tapak Sayang melangkah, di situlah cinta Abang bersama Sayang!"
Si isteri tersenyum dan berpuas hati dengan penerangan suaminya tadi. Namun begitu selang beberapa hari si isteri mengalami kemalangan dan koma. Si suami amat bersedih dan menulis sepucuk surat kepada isterinya yang disayangi. Surat itu diletakkan di sebelah katil isterinya di hospital. Surat tersebut berbunyi begini :
Sayang!
Jika disebabkan suara aku mencintai mu, sekarang bolehkah engkau bersuara? Tidak! Oleh itu aku tidak boleh mencintai mu.
Jika disebabkankasih sayang dan ingatan aku mencintaimu, sekarang bolehkah engkau menunjukkannya? Tidak! Oleh itu aku tidak boleh mencintaimu.
Jika disebabkan senyuman aku mencintai mu, sekarang bolehkah engkau tersenyum? Tidak! Oleh itu aku tidak boleh mencintai mu.
Jika disebabkan setiap langkah aku mencintaimu, sekarang bolehkah engkau melangkah? Tidak! Oleh itu aku tidak boleh mencintai mu.
Jika cinta memerlukan sebabnya, seperti sekarang. Aku tidak mempunyai sebab mencintai mu lagi. Adakah cinta memerlukan sebab? Tidak! Aku masih mencintai mu dulu, kini, selamanya dan cinta tidak perlu ada sebab.
Kadangkala perkara tercantik dan terbaik di dunia tidak boleh dilihat, dipegang. Namun begitu... ia boleh dirasai dalam hati."
Suamimu
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body.
Because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty.
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.
He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?'
'My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.'
CONFIDENCE
Once all village people decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer all people gathered and only one boy came with an umbrella. That's Confidence.
TRUST
Trust should be like the feeling of a one year old baby when you throw him in the air, he laughs because he knows you will catch him. That's Trust.
HOPE
Every night we go to bed, we have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning but still we have plans for the coming day. That's Hope.
Once all village people decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer all people gathered and only one boy came with an umbrella. That's Confidence.
TRUST
Trust should be like the feeling of a one year old baby when you throw him in the air, he laughs because he knows you will catch him. That's Trust.
HOPE
Every night we go to bed, we have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning but still we have plans for the coming day. That's Hope.
Diriwayatkan daripada Abu Hurairah RA;daripada Rasulullah SAW bersabda;
‘Segala amal kebajikan anak Adam itu dilipat-gandakan pahalanya kepada sepuluh hinggalah ke 700 kali ganda. Allah berfirman: ‘Kecuali puasa, sesungguhnya puasa itu adalah untuk-Ku dan Aku memberikan balasan (pahala) kepadanya, (kerana) dia(orang yang berpuasa) telah meninggalkan syahwat dan makan minumnya kerana Aku.’
Hadith Riwayat Muslim
Ya Allah! Berilah Aku Kemampuan Untuk Hidup Sebagaimana Kehidupan Orang-Orang Yang Baik. Dan Jauhkanlah Aku Dari Kehidupan Bersama Orang-Orang Yang Jahat. Dan Naungilah Aku Dengan Rahmat-Mu Hingga Sampai Kepada Ala m Akhirat. Demi Ketuhanan-Mu Wahai Tuhan Seru Sekalian Alam.
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, 'I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin.'
The husband replies, 'That's no big thing in this day and age.'
The wife continues, 'Yeah, I've been with one guy.'
'Oh yeah? Who was the guy?'
'Tiger Woods..'
'Tiger Woods, the golfer?'
'Yeah.'
'Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.'
The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
'What are you doing?' asks the wife.
The husband says, 'I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat.'
'Tiger wouldn't do that.'
'Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?'
'He'd come back to bed and do it a second time.'
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.
'Now what are you doing?' she asks.
The husband says, 'I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat.'
'Tiger wouldn't do that.'
'Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?'
'He'd come back to bed and do it again.'
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time. When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, 'Are you calling room service?'
'No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole.'
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