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Saya mengajar di sekolah rendah di tengah2 bandaraya Kuala Lumpur. Saya mengajar sesi petang. Salah seorang murid saya setiap hari datang lambat ke sekolah. Kasut dan bajunya selalu kotor. Setiap kali saya bertanya tentang baju dan kasutnya dia hanya berdiam diri.
Saya masih bersabar dengan keadaan pakainnya, tetapi kesabaran saya tercabar dengan sikapnya yang setiap hari datang lambat. Pada mulanya saya hanya memberi nasihat. Dia hanya menundukkan kepala tanpa berkata2 kecuali anggukkan yang seolah2 dipaksa. Kali kedua saya memberi amaran, dia masih juga mengangguk tetapi masih juga datang lambat keesokannya. Kali ketiga saya terpaksa menjalankan janji saya untuk memukulnya kalau masih lambat. Anehnya dia hanya menyerahkan punggungnya untukdirotan. Airmata saja yang jatuh tanpa sepatah kata dari mulutnya.
Keesokan harinya dia masih juga lambat, dan saya memukulnya lagi. Namun ia masih tetap datang kesekolah dan masih tetap lambat.
Suatu hari saya bercadang untuk mengintipnya ke rumahnya. Setelah mendapatkan alamatnya, saya meneruskan niat saya. Dia tinggal di sebuah kawasan setinggan tidak berapa jauh dari sekolah. Keadaan rumahnya sangat daif. Saya nampak murid saya itu sedang berdiri di depan rumahnya dalam keadaan gelisah. Seorang wanita yang mungkin ibunya juga kelihatan gelisah.
Lebih kurang pukul 1.30 seorang anak lelaki sedang berlari2 sekuat hati menuju ke rumah itu. Sambil berlari dia membuka baju sekolahnya. Sampai di depan rumah baju dan kasutnya diserahkan pula kepada murid saya yang terus bergegas memakainya. Sebelum pakaian sekolah sempurna dipakai, dia sudah berlari ke arah sekolah.
Saya kembali ke sekolah dengan penuh penyesalan. Saya memanggil anak itu sambil menahan airmata yang mula tergenang.
“Maafkan cikgu. Tadi cikgu pergi ke rumah kamu dan memerhatikan kamu dari jauh. Siapa yang berlari memberikan kamu baju tadi?”
Dia terkejut dan wajahnya berubah.
“Itu abang saya. Kami kongsi baju dan kasut sebab tak ada baju lain. Itu saja baju dan kasut yang ada. Maafkan saya, cikgu.” Jawabnya
“Kenapa kamu tak beritahu cikgu dan kenapa kamu biarkan saja cikgu pukul kamu?”
” Mak pesan, jangan meminta2 pada orang, jangan ceritakan kemiskinan kita pada orang. Kalau cikgu nak pukul serahkan saja punggung kamu.”
Sambil menahan airmata yang mula berguguran saya memeluk anak itu, “Maafkan cikgu, …….”
Kejadian itu cukup menginsafkan saya. Selepas itu saya cuba membantunya setakat yang mampu.
Four guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator. While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation.
The first guy says, 'I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know... ''Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist".''
The second guy says, 'I'm a D.I.N.K.Y, you know... "Double Income, No Kids Yet". '
The third guy says, 'I'm a R.U.B., you know... 'Rich, Urban, Biker'."
The fourth guy says, 'I am a D.I.L.D.O, you know... "Double Income, Little Dog Owner".''
They turn to the woman and ask her. ''What are you?''
She replies: 'I'm a WIFE, you know...
Dalam kelas, cikgu tadika tanya soalan, "Ada 3 ekor burung di atas pokok. Seekor ditembak pemburu, berapa ekor lagi tinggal di atas pokok?"
Adik Mat angkat tangan dan jawab, "Kosong cikgu".
"Kenapa kosong Mat?" tanya cikgu.
"Sebab 2 ekor lagi tu mesti laa terbang lari cikgu."
"Salah! Jawapannya tentulah 2 Mat, 3 tolak 1 sama dengan 2. Tapi cikgu suka cara kamu berfikir".
Sehabis kelas, Cikgu belanja Adik Mat makan aiskrim. Adik Mat tetiba bertanya, "Cikgu, ada 3 orang perempuan makan aiskrim. Satu tu style telan semua sekaligus, satu lagi gigit sikit2, dan satu lagi jilat keliling dulu dan kulum aiskrim sampai habis. Cuma satu je antara tiga tu yang dah kawin, yang mana satu cikgu?"
Tergamam cikgu dengan soalan Adik Mat.Cuba berlagak neutral cikgu menjawab, "Yang jilat keliling dulu dan kulum aiskrim sampai habis tu kot".
"Salah cikgu, yang pakai cincin kahwin laa yang dah kahwin. Tapi takpe, saya suka cara cikgu berfikir"
One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.
The director discovered from the CV, that the youth's academic result is excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never has a year he did not score.
The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarship in school?"
The youth answered "None."
The director asked, "Is it your father pay for your school fees?"
The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it is my mother who paid for my school fees."
The director asked, " Where did your mother worked?"
The youth answered, "My mother worked as cloth cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hand, the youth showed a pair of hand that is smooth and perfect to the director."
The director asked, "Did you ever help your mother washed the cloth before?"
The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books, furthermore, my mother can wash cloths faster than me."
The director said, "I had a request, when you go back today, go and help to clean your mother's hand, and then see me tomorrow morning."
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"
The boy thought for a while and said, "My choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this. What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the day sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry Sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a second difficult question!"
The dog has money in its mouth, as well. The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog. So off he goes.
The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a level crossing, the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and it walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.
The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it. The butcher follows the dog into the bus. The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus.
The dog then sits near the driver's seat looking outside waiting for the bus stop to come. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop. It opens the big iron gate and rushes inside towards the door.
As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times,walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him. The butcher surprised with this, runs up, and stops the guy.
"What in heaven's name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me!", to which the guy responds:
"You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key."
TSOK: You may continue to exceed onlookers' expectations but shall always fall short of the bosses' expectations.
Inilah al-kisah tentang bunyi 'hon'
Bukan hanya kuntuman bunga jer yang ada maksud disebaliknya, hon pun ader
Pernah tak masa driving, kadang-kadang kita dengar kereta yang berselisih atau kereta di belakang kita membunyikan hon?
Tahukah anda bahawa setiap bunyi hon itu ada maksud tertentu disebaliknya.
Inilah maksud tersiratnyer
1 x HON PENDEK - pemandu tu nak cakap "HAI"
2 x HON PENDEK - pemandu tu nak cakap "TERIMA KASIH" atau "JUMPA LAGI"
3 x HON PENDEK - pemandu tu suruh kenderaan depan tu cepat sikit (biasanya kat traffic light time dah hijau tak reti-reti nak jalan)
1 x HON PANJANG - pemandu tu beri amaran kereta lain bahawa diorang memandu secara merbahaya dan hampir menyebabkan kemalangan
2 x HON PANJANG - pemandu tu marah "HOI!!!... BODOH XDER OTAK KE"
4 X atau lebih HON PENDEK - pemandu tu cakap ;
"TIIILAM! TIIILAM!... TILAM LAMA, TUKAR BARU.. TIIILAAAM!... TIIILAAAAM!"
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