Hadiah Yang Sempurna

Seorang pemuda yang sedang berada di tahun akhir pengajiannya mengharapkan sebuah kereta sport daripada ayahnya...lantas, si pemuda memberitahu hajatnya kepada ayahnya, seorang hartawan yang ternama...si ayah hanya tersenyum..si anak bertambah yakin, andai keputusan peperiksaannya begitu cemerlang, pasti kereta itu akan menjadi miliknya..

Beberapa bulan berlalu...ternyata si anak, dengan berkat kesungguhannya..telah beroleh kejayaan yang cukup cemerlang..hatinya berbunga keriangan...satu hari...si ayah memanggil si anak ke bilik bacaannya..si ayah memuji anaknya...sambil menyatakan betapa bangga hati seorang bapa sepertinya dgn kejayaan si anak yang cukup cemerlang...si anak tersenyum puas...di ruang matanya terbayang kilauan kereta sport merah yang selama ini menjadi idamannya itu...

Si ayah yang bagaikan mengerti kehendak si anak, menghulurkan sebuah kotak yang berbungkus rapi dan cantik...si anak terkesima...sungguh...bukan itu yg kuhajatkan... dengan hati yang berat...kotak itu bertukar tangan...matanya terarah kepada riak wajah ayahnya...yg tidak menunjukkan sebarang perubahan; seolah2 tidak dapat membaca tanda tanya yang bersarang dihatinya....

[Joke] B For Bengang Or Bangang

Seorang pemuda bercer ita kpd temannya, 'Bengang betul aku!'

'Hah? kenapa Man?' tanya temannya.

'Semalam aku berkenalan dengan awek cun di cafe, terus kita orang ke rumahnya, dia yg ajak aku, pas tu kitorang sama2 buka baju, Tengah best, tau-tau suami dia datang. Terkejut besor aku, terus aku melompat ke jendela bilik sambil berpaut dibawah jendela dengan jari aku!'

'Wah, sial betul ko' sahut temannya. 'Ya, tapi itu belum apa-apa' sahut pemuda itu.

Kemudian suaminya masuk bilik menegur isterinya, dia cakap 'Wah..kebetulan sayang dah telanjang, sebentar abang kencing dulu'. Pas tu tau tak, si suami hampeh itu kencing terus di jendela, mengena kepala aku'

'Hah!' Temannya geleng2kan kepala. 'Patut la ko bengang gila'

'Ya, tapi bukan itu yang buat aku bengang'

'Selepas tu, aku dengar mereka bermesra-mesraan. Jari aku dah lenguh dah ni. Setelah mereka selesai, suaminya membuang kondomnya keluar jendela, tau tak jatuh dimana? kat kepala aku!'

'Wah! Dasyatnya, kalau aku memang aku bengang!' kata temannya

'Sebentar. Aku belum selesai, yang buatkan aku lebih bengang lagi, suaminya mau buang air besar rupa-rupanya toilet rosak. Jadi dia mengcangkung di pinggir jendela, terus jatuh diatas kepala aku!'

'Wah..wah, pasti lengkap dah penderitaan ko' sahut temannya.

'Ye...ye...tapi ko tau tak, yang paling buat aku BENGANG... BENGAAANG...BENGAAAAANG gile? Bila aku tengok ke bawah rupa-rupanya kaki aku jaraknya cuma 10cm dari tanah.....

Flow Chart of Personality

Click image to enlarge

History Lesson of US President

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Lincolnwas shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'

Lincolnwas shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

A week before Lincolnwas shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

MPV Terbaru Dari Proton Selepas Exora

Lagi Mahal Dari KCT1

WTF1 harganya over RM80K

Enam Perkara Allah SWT Sembunyikan

Sesungguhnya Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan enam perkara iaitu :

* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan redha-Nya dalam taat.
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan murka-Nya di dalam maksiat.
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan nama-Nya yang Maha Agung di dalam Al-Quran.
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan Lailatul Qadar di dalam bulan Ramadhan.
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan solat yang paling utama di dalam solat yang lima waktu.
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan tarikh terjadinya hari kiamat didalam semua hari.

Paku Di Dinding Hati

Ada seorang pemuda yang sangat pemarah. Dia tidak dapat mengawal kemarahannya walaupun ianya hanya satu masalah kecil sahaja.

Pada suatu hari, bapanya telah menghadiahkannya dengan seguni paku.

"Untuk apakah paku-paku ini ayah?" tanya pemuda tersebut.

"Setiap kali kamu marah, kamu pakulah tembok batu di hadapan rumah kita ini, bagi melepaskan kemarahan mu" jawab ayahnya.

Pada hari yang Pertama sahaja, pemuda itu telah memaku sebanyak 37 batang paku pada tembok batu tersebut. Selepas beberapa minggu, setelah dia dapat mengurangkan kemarahannya, jumlah paku yang digunakan juga berkurangan. Dia mendapati, adalah lebih mudah mengawal kemarahannya dari memukul paku menembusi tembok batu tersebut.

Akhirnya tibalah pada suatu hari, dimana pemuda tersebut tidak marah, walau sekali pun. Dia pun memberitahu ayahnya mengenai perkara tersebut dengan gembira. Bapanya mengucapkan tahniah dan menyuruh dia mencabut kembali paku itu satu persatu, pada setiap hari yang ia lalui tanpa kemarahan.

Hari berganti hari, dan akhirnya dia berjaya mencabut kesemua paku-paku tersebut. Pemuda tersebut lantas memberitahu perkara tersebut kepada bapanya dengan bangganya.

Bapanya lantas memimpin tangannya ke tembok tersebut dan berkata "Kau telah melakukannya dengan baik, anakku, tetapi lihatlah kesan lubang-lubang di tembok batu tersebut, tembok itu tidak akan kelihatan sama lagi seperti sebelumnya. Bila kau menyatakan sesuatu atau melakukan sesuatu ketika marah, ianya akan meninggalkan kesan parut dan luka, sama seperti ini. Kau boleh menikam seseorang dengan pisau dan membunuhnya. Tetapi ingatlah, tak kesah berapa kali kau memohon maaf dan menyesal atas perbuatam mu, namun lukanya masih tetap ada. Luka di hati adalah lebih pedih dari luka fizikal."


TSOK: Maafkan aku sekiranya pernah meninggalkan kesan berlubang di dinding hati anda

Cartoon Of The Day - Relocated

What The Quotes

Karangan Bertajuk "Keluarga Saya"

Use Handsfree While Driving

According to new law that goes into effect July 31, 2008 you will no longer be able to use a cell phone while driving unless you have a 'hands free' adapter.

I went to Incredible Connection and they wanted $250 for a headset with a microphone for my cell phone. Having a friend in the cell phone business, I talked with him and was able to come up with an alternative, working through Hi Fi Corporation.

These kits are compatible with any mobile phone and one size fits all. I paid him $2.00 each because he bought in quantity. Then we tried it with Motorola, Samsung, Verizon and Nokia units and they worked perfectly. (See photo below)

Kenapa Mak??

One Eye Story

My mom only had one eye. I hated her. She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.

There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said, "Eeee, your mom only has one eye!"

I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, "If you're only goanna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?"

My mom did not respond. I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.

So I studied real hard , got a chance to go abroad to study. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts.

Then one day, my mother came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her Grandchildren. When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited.

I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children! Get out of here now!!!"

And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," And she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.

My neighbors said that she died.I did not shed a single tear.They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

My dearest son,

I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came toyour house and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.

You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine.

I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

With all my love to you,
Your mother.

[Joke] Don't Simply Laugh

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.

The Loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out vey nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?".

The Chinese replies: 'Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there safely when I return.'

Avoid Sugar, Prevent Illnesses

Teka Teki Mengong

Atas taruk, bawah seronok.
Bawah tarik, atas seronok.
Atas tarik, bawah sakit.

Apa dia?”

[Hadith] Puasa Sunat Bagi Wanita

Dari Abu Hurairah RA katanya,
Rasulullah SAW bersabda:
”Seorang wanita janganlah berpuasa (sunat) ketika suaminya ada, melainkan dengan izin suaminya; dan janganlah dia membolehkan orang lain masuk ke rumahnya melainkan dengan izin suaminya; dan sesuatu yang disedekahkan isteri dari hasil usaha suaminya tanpa perintah suami, pahalanya seperdua bagi suami.”

- Hadith Riwayat Muslim

Old Man At The Beach

[Joke] Interview For A Government Job

A guy goes to the one of the Government Agency to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes, coffee."

"Have you ever been in the military service?
"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for two years."
The interviewer says,"That will give you 5 extra points towards employment."

Then he asks,"Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says,"Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. To 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow from 10:00AM every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why do you want me to start here from10:00 A.M.?"

"This is a government job," the interviewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point you coming in for that."

Life is About Correcting Mistakes

Jocelyn married William this day. At the end of the wedding party, Jocelyn's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook. With $1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Jocelyn, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with William. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'
Jocelyn shared this with William when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.

This was what they did after certain time:

• 7 Feb: $100, first birthday celebration for William after marriage
• 1 Mar: $300, salary raise for Jocelyn
• 20 Mar: $200, vacation trip to Bali
• 5 Apr: $2000, Jocelyn got pregnant
• 1 Jun: $1000, William got promoted
.... And so on

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world. No more love. Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Jocelyn talked to her Mother: 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!'

Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

Jocelyn thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home. When she was home, she handed the passbook to William, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.

The next day, William gave the passbook back to Jocelyn. She found a new deposit of $5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe. Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.


TSOK: When you fall, don't see the place where you fell, instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes.

Paid To Be Pregnant

Anger Management