TheSinOfKnowledge wish all Muslim readersSelamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri
&
Maaf Zahir Batin
1
TheSinOfKnowledge wish all Muslim readersSelamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri
&
Maaf Zahir Batin
A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender.. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered, "There's no toilet paper, handsoap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room is only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind' s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'
TSOK: Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present
A woman decides to have a face lift for her birthday. She spends $5,000.00 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving she asks the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?".
"About 32," the clerk replies.
"I'm actually 47," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonalds and upon getting her order, asks the counter girl the same question. She replies, "I'd guess about 29".
The woman replies, "Nope, I am 47." Now she is feeling really good about herself.
While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is starting to go. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was, but it requires you to let me put my hands up your shirt and feel your boobs. Then I can tell exactly how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman and she finally says, "What the hell, go ahead".
The old man slips both hands up her shirt, under her bra, and begins to feel around. After a couple of minutes she says,"Okay, Okay, how old am I?"
He removes his hands and says, "You are 47."
Stunned the woman says, "That is amazing. How did you know?".
The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonalds."
Some people come into your life for a season, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind
Rasullullah SAW bersabda bermaksud:“Hiasilah hari raya (Aildilfitri dan Aldiladha) kamu dengan takbir, tahlil, tahmid dan taqdis (mengingati dan mengagungkan Allah)."
Hadith Riwayat at-Thabrani
Ya Allah! Jadikanlah Puasa ku Disertai Dengan Syukur Dan Penerima Di,Atas Jalan Keridhoan-Mu Dan Keridhoan Rasul. Cabang-Cabangnya Kokoh Dan Kuat Berkat Pokok-Pokoknya, Demi Kenabian Mohammad Dan Keluarganya Yang Suci, Dan Segala Puji Bagi Allah Tuhan Sekalian Alam dan disudahi dengan Aminnnnn.......
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty
AND.. Here's a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me .
Signed, J.P. Morgan
A virile, young Italian soldier was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome, when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment, and after some small talk, they made love.
After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, "So... you finish?"
She paused for a second, frowned, and replied "No."
Surprised, the young man reached for her and the lovemaking resumed. This time she thrashes about wildly and there are screams of passion. The love making ends, and again, the young man smiles, and asks, "You finish?"
And again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him, and softly says, "No."
Stunned, but damned if this woman is going to outlast him, the young man reaches for the woman. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they climax simultaneously, screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping bed sheets. The exhausted man falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly, and asks, "You finish!?"
"No!" she shouts back, "I Swedish!"
Jenny was so happy about the house they had found. For once in her life it was on the right side of town. She unpacked her things with such great ease. As she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze. How wonderful it was to have her own room.
School would be starting; she'd have friends over soon. There'd be sleep-overs, and parties; she was so happy It's just the way she wanted her life to be. On the first day of school, everything went great. She made new friends and even got a date! She thought, "I want to be popular and I'm going to be, Because I just got a date with the star of the team!"
To be known in this school you had to have clout, and dating this guy would sure help her out. There was only one problem stopping her fate. Her parents had said she was too young to date. "Well I just won't tell them the entire truth. They won't know the difference; what's there to lose?"
Jenny asked to stay with her friends that night. Her parents frowned but said, "All right."
Excited, she got ready for the big event But as she rushed around like she had no sense, She began to feel guilty about all the lies, But what's a pizza, a party, and a moonlight ride? Well the pizza was good, and the party was great, But the moonlight ride would have to wait. For Dan was half drunk by this time. But he kissed her and said that he was just fine. Then the room filled with smoked and Dan took a puff. Jenny couldn't believe he was smoking that stuff. Now Dan was ready to ride to the point But only after he'd smoked another joint.
They jumped in the car for the moonlight ride, Not thinking that he was too drunk to drive. They finally made it to the point at last, And Dan started trying to make a pass. A pass is not what Jenny wanted at all "Perhaps my parents were right, maybe I am too young. Boy, how could I ever, ever be so dumb."
With all of her might, she pushed Dan away: "Please take me home, I don't want to stay." Dan cranked up the engine and floored the gas. In a matter of seconds they were going too fast. As Dan drove on in a fit of wild anger, Jenny knew that her life was in danger. She begged and pleaded for him to slow down, But he just got faster as they neared the town.
"Just let me get home! I'll confess that I lied. I really went out for a moonlight ride."
Then all of a sudden, she saw a big flash. "Oh God, Please help us! We're going to crash!" She doesn't remember the force of impact. Just that everything all of a sudden went black. She felt someone remove her from the twisted rubble, And heard, "Call an ambulance! These kids are in trouble!" Voices she heard...a few words at best. But she knew there were two cars involved in the wreck. Then wondered to herself if Dan was all right, and if the people in the other car was alive.
She awoke in the hospital to faces so sad. "You've been in a wreck and it looks pretty bad."
These voices echoed inside her head, As they gently told her that Dan was dead. They said "Jenny, we've done all we can do. But it looks as if we'll lose you too."
"But the people in the other car!?" Jenny cried.
"We're sorry, Jenny, they also died." Jenny prayed,
"God, forgive me for what I've done I only wanted to have just one night of fun. Tell those people's family, I've made their lives dim, And wish I could return their families to them. Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry I lied, And that it's my fault so many have died. Oh, nurse, won't you please tell them that for me?"
The nurse just stood there-she never agreed. But took Jenny's hand with tears in her eyes. And a few moments later Jenny died.
A man asked the nurse, "Why didn't you do your best To bid that girl her one last request?"
She looked at the man with eyes so sad. "Because the people in the other car were her mom and dad."
TSOK: As usual, don't drink and drive.. drink Pepsi can..
One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of the empty soapbox, which happened in one of Japan 's biggest cosmetics companies.
The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soapbox that was empty. immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department.
For some reason, one soapbox went through the assembly line empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. The engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with
high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soapboxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent a huge amount to do so.
But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the same problem, he did not get into complications of X-rays, etc., but instead came out with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soapbox passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.
When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (ink won't flow down to the writing surface).
To solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12million. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.
And what did the Russians do...??
They used a pencil.
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer,and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the oney on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is mpressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then he married the one with the largest breasts.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..
When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a Godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Dari Hasan bin Ali RA (cucu Rasulullah) yang menceritakan;“Rasulullah s.a.w. memerintahkan kami pada dua hari raya supaya memakai pakaian sehabis elok yang kami perolehi, berwangi dengan wangian paling harum yang kami perolehi dan supaya kami menyembelih korban dengan binatang paling gemuk yang kami miliki”.
Hadith Riwayat Imam al-Hakim dan at-Thabrani
Ya Allah! Liputilah Aku Dengan Rahmat Dan Berikanlah Kepadaku Taufiq Dan Penjagaan. Sucikanlah Hatiku Dan Noda-Noda Fitnah Wahai Pengasih Terhadap Hamba- HambaNya Yang Mu'min.
A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class on a plane.
The woman sneezes, then takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man isn't sure he saw what she did, and decides he is probably hallucinating.
A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man is about to go nuts. He can't believe that he's seeing what she's doing.
A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs yet again. The man has finally had all he can handle.
He turns to the woman and says, "Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've taken a tissue and wiped it between your legs! What kind of signals are you sending me, or are you just trying to drive me crazy?"
The woman replies, " I am sorry to have disturbed you, sir. I have a rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The man, now feeling bad, says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What are you taking for it?"
"Pepper", she replies
There's this Jaga Singh who was working for a multi-millionare as a house guard.
One day, while the millionaire was driving out to catch an early morning flight to conclude a business deal, Jaga Singh ran out from the guard house and stopped the millionaire's car just right in front of the gate.
He said "Sir..Sir..are you going to board a plane?"
"Yes, why?" asked the millionaire.
"You had better cancel the trip. You see, last night I dreamt about the plane going to crash."
Curious over the early morning fright that Jaga Singh had given, the multimillionaire decided to cancel his trip.
"You better be damn right for this is a million dollar deal."
The following day, there were news reports that the plane which the millionaire was supposed to take had indeed crash landed.
"Thank God I cancelled the trip,." the rich man said.
Realising that what Jaga Singh had said had come true, he called the Singh to see him. When the guard was called that morning, the millionaire gave him his salary and fired him.
WHY ?
A man was walking across the road when he met with an accident. The impact was on his head which caused him to be in a coma for 2 days. When he opened his eyes, his wife was by his side. He told her in tears, "When I was struggling with my studies in the University, I failed again and again. Sometimes I even had to re-take my papers. You were there by my side, encouraging me to go on trying."
She squeezed his hands as he continued, "When I went for major interviews and failed to clinch any of the job, you were there, cutting out the job ads for me to apply..." He added, " ...then I started working in this little firm and finally got a big contract. I blew it because of a small mistake. But you are still there for me." His wife was in tears.
The man said, "I finally got a job after being laid off for quite some time. But I was never promoted and my hard work was not recognised. I remained in the same position from the day I joined the company till now. You are still beside me..." His wife's tears trickled down as she listened to him,
"And now I meet with an accident and when I wake up you are here with me. There's somethingI'll really like to say to you... " She flung herself on the bed and hug her husband, sobbing with deep emotion.
Finally her husband said, "I think you bring me bad luck."
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE MATHEMATICS
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATHEMATICS
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE MATHEMATICS
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATHEMATICS
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
"Dan katakanlah kepada perempuan-perempuan yang beriman supaya menyekat pandangan mereka (daripada memandang yang haram), dan memelihara kehormatan mereka; dan janganlah mereka memperlihatkan perhiasan tubuh mereka kecuali yang zahir daripadanya; dan hendaklah mereka menutup belahan leher bajunya dengan tudung kepala mereka; dan janganlah mereka memperlihatkan perhiasan tubuh mereka melainkan kepada suami mereka, atau bapa mereka atau bapa mertua mereka atau anak-anak mereka, atau anak-anak tiri mereka, atau saudara-saudara mereka, atau anak bagi saudara-saudara mereka yang lelaki, atau anak bagi saudara-saudara mereka yang perempuan, atau perempuan-perempuan Islam, atau hamba-hamba mereka, atau orang gaji dari orang-orang lelaki yang telah tua dan tidak berkeinginan kepada perempuan, atau kanak-kanak yang belum mengerti lagi tentang aurat perempuan; dan janganlah mereka menghentakkan kaki untuk diketahui orang akan apa yang tersembunyi dari perhiasan mereka; dan bertaubatlah kamu sekalian kepada Allah, wahai orang-orang yang beriman, supaya kamu berjaya."
Surah An-Nur:31
Surah An-Nur:31
There was a middle-age couple that had two stunningly beautiful teen-age daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and, sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to find the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He went to his wife and said that there was no way that he could be the father of the child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered," he cried. Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?"
The wife smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time."
Three things of life once gone never comes back
Time, words & opportunity
Three things of life must not be lost
Peace, hope & honesty.
Three things of life are most valuable
Love, self-confidence & friends
Three things of life are never sure
Dreams, success & fortune
Three things make a Man/Woman
Hard work, sincerity & success
Three things of life that destroy a Man/Woman
Wine, pride & anger
Time, words & opportunity
Three things of life must not be lost
Peace, hope & honesty.
Three things of life are most valuable
Love, self-confidence & friends
Three things of life are never sure
Dreams, success & fortune
Three things make a Man/Woman
Hard work, sincerity & success
Three things of life that destroy a Man/Woman
Wine, pride & anger
Daripada Umamah RA;bahawasanya Nabi Muhammad SAW telah bersabda;
Barang siapa mengerjakan amal ibadah pada malam Hari Raya Aidilfitri dengan mengharapkan keredaan Allah semata-mata hatinya tidak akan mati pada hari kiamat sebagai matinya hati orang-orang yang kafir ingkar pada hari kiamat.
Ya Allah! Penuhkanlah Hidupku Dengan Amalan-Amalan Sunnah, Dan Muliakanlah Aku Dengan Terkabulnya Semua Permintaan. Dekatkanlah Perantaraanku Kepada-Mu Diantara Semua Perantara, Wahai Yang Tidak Tersibukkan Oleh Permintaan Orang-Orang Yang Meminta.
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. Why of course, comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland", replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course", replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?
"Dublin", comes the reply.
"I can't believe it", says the first man."I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course", replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's", replies the second man. "I graduated in 62."
This is unbelievable! the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much", replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."
The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It's in the gentle words he whispers.
The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has.
It's how good of buddies he is with his children.
The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It's in how respected he is at home.
The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits.
It's in how tender he touches.
The strength in a man isn't in the hair on his chest.
It's in his Heart . . . that lies within his chest.
The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift.
It's in the burdens he can carry
One American airline company was very impressed with SIA stewardesses and wanted to find out how SIA selected their Singapore Girls.
So one fine day, they sent one of their management staff to attend a SIA interview session. The secret of SIA success finally transpired during the interview;
Interviewer: What were you doing before applying for this sacred job?
Interviewee: Study lor.....
When the person came out from the interview room he was so impressed for he had never expected that all SIA girls had actually studied 'LAW' before becoming an air-stewardess.
Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling.
They found out that the new baby was going be a girl and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his sister in Mommy's tummy. He was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even met her.
The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen. In time, the labor pains came. Soon it was every five minutes, every three, every minute. But serious complications arose during delivery and Karen found herself in hours of labor. Would a C-section be required?
Finally, after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was born. But she was in very serious condition. With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee.
The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The pediatrician had to tell the parents there is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst. Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot. They had fixed up a special room in their house for their new baby but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral.
Gambar dibawah ini adalah gambar terhangat Ariel & Luna yang belum pernah didedahkan.
Media hanya mengembar-gemburkan tentang video rakaman 'aksi' mereka dan bukannya gambar.
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Media hanya mengembar-gemburkan tentang video rakaman 'aksi' mereka dan bukannya gambar.
Read More >> untuk lihat gambar ini..
My Resimay...
To hoom it Mae cunsern,
I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper. I kin Type realee qwik wit one finggar and do sum a counting. I think I am good on the fone and I no I am a pepole person. I no my spelling is not too good.
My salerery is open, I kin start emeditely.
Thank yoo in advanse fore yore anser.
Sinseerly,
Tiffany
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short I sent a pickture of me.
I have one
You have one
Your mother uses your father's one
And your auntie uses your uncle's one
A married lady would acquire one
But a divorced lady would lose her one
Arnold Schwarzenneger has a longer one
Michael J. Fox has a shorter one
Madonna does not have one
The Chinese usually have short ones
While the Indian usually have long ones
Do you have one?
How long is your one?
Which one is your preferred one?
What are you thinking of?
You have one
Your mother uses your father's one
And your auntie uses your uncle's one
A married lady would acquire one
But a divorced lady would lose her one
Arnold Schwarzenneger has a longer one
Michael J. Fox has a shorter one
Madonna does not have one
The Chinese usually have short ones
While the Indian usually have long ones
Do you have one?
How long is your one?
Which one is your preferred one?
What are you thinking of?
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel!
The pharmacist fainted.
1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.
3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
6. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
7. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you it probably hurts the person too.
9. A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.
10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Daripada Hazrat ‘Ubadah Bin Samit RA beliau berkata;
Rasulullah SAW telah keluar untuk memberitahu kami tentang Lailatul Qadr, kemudian ada dua orang lelaki daripada kalangan orang-orang Islam telah bergaduh.
Maka Baginda telah bersabda,
“Aku telah keluar untuk memberitahu kamu tentang Lailatul Qadr kemudian si fulan dan si fulan telah bergaduh, oleh kerana itu ia telah diangkat kembali. Mudah-mudahan itu lebih baik bagi kamu."
Rasulullah SAW telah keluar untuk memberitahu kami tentang Lailatul Qadr, kemudian ada dua orang lelaki daripada kalangan orang-orang Islam telah bergaduh.
Maka Baginda telah bersabda,
“Aku telah keluar untuk memberitahu kamu tentang Lailatul Qadr kemudian si fulan dan si fulan telah bergaduh, oleh kerana itu ia telah diangkat kembali. Mudah-mudahan itu lebih baik bagi kamu."
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