[Joke] Modern Women

The new wife was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner. As expected she gave a speech;

'My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family, firstly, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine. No, I will never do that, never in a million years.'

'What do you mean my child?' asked the father-in-law.

'What I mean dad is (looking at her in-laws); Those who used to wash the dishes must carry on washing them. Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it. Those who cooked should not stop at my account, AND Those who used to clean should continue cleaning.

'And what are you here for?' enquired the mother-in-law.

'As for me, I'm here just to entertain your son'

[True Story] Fight For Their Own

A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco.

"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me."

"Sure," they replied, "We'd love to meet him."

"There's something you should know" the son continued, "He was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."

"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."

"Son," said the father, "You don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."

At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide.

The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.


TSOK: The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.

This Is Not For That, B***h !!

The Greatest Love

Hadith Of The Day - Bawang

Diceritakan oleh Ibnu Umar RA bahawa Rasulullah SAW pernah bersabda;
Ketika perang di Khaibar:”Sesiapa yang memakan buah ini, iaitu bawang, maka janganlah dia mendekati masjid kita ini.”
- Hadith Riwayat Al-Bukhari

Cartoon Of The Day - Productivity

[Joke] My Hands Are So Cold

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold, blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are so cold."

The mother replied, "Put them between your legs, you body heat will warm them up". So the daughter did and her hands warmed up."

The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend and he said "My hands are freezing cold."

The girl said "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up". So he did and warmed his hands.

The next day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said my nose is cold.

The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up" So he did and warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was smiling when he got into the buggy with the daughter, and said "My penis is frozen solid"

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother "Have you ever heard of a Penis?"

Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why yes, Why do you ask?"

The daughter replies "Well they make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they??"

10 Tips For 'Working Hard'

1. Never walk without a document in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generallyhave a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

3. Messy desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

Only In... Malaysia

Photo Of Life - Love

The father and his son live in an impoverished hilly area. They demand nothing but a piece of land to call their own. Perhaps they will not have a chance to see the outside world all their lives -- they will not know


What a staircase is, they will never ride in a taxi, nor will they ever step into a movie theater. But the truth is these are the people who offer us everything our lives depend on, generation after generation. The heaven and earth have nothing to repay them. Love them!

Connections Without Boundaries

This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Penang . Her name was Ai Ling. She was hit by a truck.

She was working in a call center. She had a boy friend named Tony. Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone. She used to be never found without her handphone. In fact both of them using Digi, so that both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost. Even when Tony left overseas to finish his masters, they constantly kept in touch.

She used to spend half of the day talking with Tony. Ai Ling's family knew about their relationship.. Tony was very close to Ai Ling's family as well. Before she passed away she always told her friends 'If I pass away please burn me with my handphone' she also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, people cudnt carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so, but still cant everybody that had tried to carry the body, the results were the same.

Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.

After a few minutes, he said 'this girl misses something here.' Then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily and they then carried her into the van. All of us were shocked.

Ai Ling's parents did not inform Tony that Ai Ling had passed away as they're waiting for him to come home after his graduation.

After 2 weeks Tony returned and called Ai Ling's mom.

'Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Don't tell Ai Ling that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her.'

Her mother replied. 'Come home first, I wanna tell you something very important.'

After he came, they told him the truth about Ai Ling. Tony thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said 'Don't try to fool me tell Ai Ling to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense'.

Then they show him the original death certificate to him. They gave him proof to make him believe. He said. 'Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me" Tony was shaking.

Suddenly, Tony's phone rang. 'See this is from Ai Ling, see this' he showed the phone to Ai Ling's family. All of them told him to answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his conversation. It is the actual voice of Ai Ling & there is no way others could use her handphone since it is nailed inside the grave box!

They were so shocked and asked for the same person's who can speak with the soul of dead persons to help again. He brought his master to solve this matter. He & his master worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them.

[Joke] 'Service Apartment' For Rent

A married businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the night with her for $500.

He spends the night with her but before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him, but he will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment as 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'

On the way to the office he regrets what he has done realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following typed note:

Dear Madam:

Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that;

1) it had never been occupied;
2) that there was plenty of heat; and
3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.

However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.

Upon received of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:

Dear Sir,

First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.

As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.

Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlady.

Send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady!

Hadith Of The Day - Sabar

Sabda Rasulullah SAW yang bermaksud:
”Sesungguhnya orang mukmin akan menerima tekanan hidup kerana tidak ada satu bencana sama ada kerana terkena duri atau yang lebih besar, tidak juga ketakutan melainkan Allah akan mengangkat darjatnya satu darjat dan menghapuskan satu kesalahan dengan kesabarannya menghadapi bencana dan kesusahan tersebut.”
- Hadith Riwayat al-Hakim

[Joke] Are You A Little Girl Or A Little Boy?

Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?"

"I don't know," replied the other baby giggling.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby.

"I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply.

"Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll climb into your crib and find out."

He carefully maneuvered himself into the other baby's crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets.

After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin on his face.

"You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy," he said proudly.

"You're ever so clever," cooed the baby girl, "but how can you tell ?"

"It's quite easy really," replied the baby boy,

Photo Of Life - Together Through Anything

Beyond the northern (Inner Mongolia) frontier, spring has arrived but the cold weather lingered on. Snow fell on this April morning. Flakes danced in the sky. A middle-aged man tended to his cart, on which sat a little boy, wrapped up with blanket used to keep the vegetables from freezing.


From time to time, the father would tuck at the blanket to make sure that his son was all right. These are the words from the photographer: "Set in the dark and shadowy background and the dancing snow flakes, the pink puffy face of the little boy stood out in great contrast to that of the father which was apparently shaped by the caprices of life. And life was indeed harsh. Father and son only have each other for support. When the father yelled out a sales pitch on top of his voice, his facial expression was shockingly touching. One cannot help but be moved."

- Photographer: An Hejie. Market Place, Town of Chifeng, Inner Mongolia

Rompakan Berdarah Di Alliance Bank

KUALA LUMPUR 28 Sept. - Dua penjenayah bukan sahaja merompak tetapi bertindak kejam menembak seorang pengawal keselamatan dari jarak dekat dalam satu rompakan di Alliance Bank di Taman Sungai Besi Indah, Serdang, di sini hari ini.

Dalam kejadian pada pukul 11.30 pagi itu, pengawal yang bersenjatakan selaras senapang itu sedang menolong seorang pelanggan mengeluarkan wang dari mesin pengeluaran wang automatik (ATM).

Tiba-tiba, kedua-dua suspek yang bersenjatakan sepucuk pistol dan memakai topi keledar penutup penuh dan topi besbol meluru masuk ke dalam bank lalu menembak mangsa dari arah belakang.

Timbalan Ketua Jabatan Siasatan Jenayah Selangor, Asisten Komisioner Khaw Kok Chin berkata, mangsa yang terkena tembakan di tengkuk cedera parah dan dirawat di Hospital Serdang.

Katanya, rakan suspek mengambil senapang patah itu dan kedua-dua mereka terus meluru ke kaunter dalam bank sambil mengacukan senjata api.

"Salah seorang suspek bertindak memanjat kaunter sebelum membuka laci dan melarikan wang tunai RM50,000.

"Seorang lagi rakannya mengawal di luar sebelum mereka melarikan diri dengan sebuah motosikal dalam kejadian yang berlaku tidak sampai seminit itu," katanya ketika ditemui di tempat kejadian di sini hari ini.

Difahamkan, ketika kejadian terdapat tiga pekerja dan seorang pelanggan di bahagian kaunter serta seorang pengawal keselamatan yang tidak bersenjata.

Beliau memberitahu, suspek turut meninggalkan senapang patah milik pengawal keselamatan itu kira-kira 200 meter dari bank berkenaan di hadapan sebuah rumah di Jalan SB Indah 1/21.

Katanya, pihaknya tidak menolak kemungkinan suspek telah membuat perancangan sebelum melakukan jenayah itu dan menggunakan pistol jenis separuh automatik.

"Kita juga akan melihat rakaman kamera litar tertutup (CCTV) di bank itu bagi membantu siasatan," ujar beliau.

Beliau berkata, pihaknya sedang memburu dua suspek itu untuk siasatan mengikut Seksyen 395 dan 397 Kanun Keseksaan serta Seksyen 8 Akta Senjata Api. Sumber Utusan Malaysia

TSOK: The Bank's security guard, 48 year-old En Mohd Yusof Bin Abd Mutalib has passed away this morning 29 Sept. Al-Fatihah

[True Story] Kasih Sayang Adik

Aku cuma ada seorang adik. Usianya tiga tahun lebih muda daripada aku. Suatu hari, untuk mendapatkan sehelai sapu tangan yang menjadi keperluan anak gadis ketika itu, aku ambil 50 sen dari poket seluar ayah.

Petang itu, pulang saja dari sekolah ayah memanggil kami berdua. Dia meminta aku dan adik berdiri di tepi dinding. Aku menggeletar melihat rotan panjang sedepa di tangan ayah.

"Siapa ambil duit ayah?" tanya ayah bagai singa lapar.

Aku langsung tidak berdaya menentang renungan tajam mata ayah. Kedua-dua kami membisu, cuma tunduk memandang lantai.

"Baik,kalau tak mengaku,dua- dua ayah rotan!" sambung ayah sambil mengangkat tangan untuk melepaskan pukulan sulungnya ke belakang aku.

Tiba-tiba, adik menangkap tangan ayah dengan kedua-dua belah tangannya sambil berkata, "Saya yang ambil!"

Belum sempat adik menarik nafas selepas mengungkapkan kata-kata itu, hayunan dan balunan silih berganti menghentam tubuh adik. Aku gamam, lidah kelu untuk bersuara. Walau perit menahan sakit, setitis pun airmata adik tak tumpah. Setelah puas melihat adik terjelepok di lantai, ayah merungut: "Kamu sudah mula belajar mencuri di rumah sendiri. Apakah lagi perbuatan kamu yang akan memalukan ayah di luar kelak?"

Malam itu, emak dan aku tak lepas-lepas mendakap adik. Belakangnya yang berbirat dipenuhi calar-balar cuba kami ubati. Namun adik cukup tabah. Setitis pun air matanya tidak mengiringi kesakitan yang mencucuk-cucuk. Melihat keadaan itu, aku meraung sekuat hati, kesal dengan sikap aku yang takut berkata benar.

Adik segera menutup mulutku dengan kedua-dua belah tangannya lalu berkata,"Jangan menangis kak,semuanya dah berlalu!"

Aku mengutuk diri sendiri kerana tidak mampu membela adik.

I Realized

First, i was dying to finish my high school and start college
and then i was dying to finish college and start working
then i was dying to marry and have children
to grow old enough
so i could go back to work
but then i was dying to retire
and now i am dying
and sudenly i realized
I FORGOT TO LIVE

- an old man

Hadith Of The Day - Musuh Jangan Dicari

Abu Hurairah RA berkata:
”Nabi Muhammad SAW bersabda:
”Janganlah kamu berharap untuk bertemu musuh, tetapi apabila kamu bertemu musuh maka bertahanlah.”
- Hadith Riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim

Only In... Malaysia

"Maaf La Yer, Dulu Rambut Yang Cover-kan"

7 Things To Stop On Facebook

Using a Weak Password
Avoid simple names or words you can find in a dictionary, even with numbers tacked on the end. Instead, mix upper- and lower-case letters, numbers, and symbols. A password should have at least eight characters. One good technique is to insert numbers or symbols in the middle of a word, such as this variant on the word "houses": hO27usEs!

Leaving Your Full Birth Date in Your Profile
It's an ideal target for identity thieves, who could use it to obtain more information about you and potentially gain access to your bank or credit card account. If you've already entered a birth date, go to your profile page and click on the Info tab, then on Edit Information. Under the Basic Information section, choose to show only the month and day or no birthday at all.

Overlooking Useful Privacy Controls
For almost everything in your Facebook profile, you can limit access to only your friends, friends of friends, or yourself. Restrict access to photos, birth date, religious views, and family information, among other things. You can give only certain people or groups access to items such as photos, or block particular people from seeing them. Consider leaving out contact info, such as phone number and address, since you probably don't want anyone to have access to that information anyway.

Women Lies For A Reason.... ??

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?". The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family .

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked

The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.

Hadith Of The Day - Sumber Haram

Dari Jabir bin Abdullah RA katanya;
Rasulullah SAW bersabda:
”Jika engkau menjual buah-buahan (yang masih di pokok/kebun), lalu buah-buahan itu rosak dimakan hama, maka tidak halal bagimu menerima pembayaran kerana bererti engkau mengambil harta saudaramu tanpa hak.”
- Hadith Riwayat Muslim

Cartoon Of The Day - Tinted

[Joke] Sweet Old Couple?

An elderly gent was invited to his old friend's home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms - "Honey," "My Love," "Darling," "Sweetheart," "Pumpkin," etc.

The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names."

The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said. "I forgot her name about 10 years ago."

Coming Interview

Some, rather most organizations reject his CV today because he has changed jobs frequently (10 in 14 years). My friend, the ˜job hopper (referred here as Mr. JH), does not mind it. well he does not need to mind it at all. Having worked full-time with 10 employer companies in just 14 years gives Mr. JH the relaxing edge that most of the ˜company loyal employees are struggling for today.

Today, Mr. JH too is laid off like some other 14-15 year experienced guys " the difference being the latter have just worked in 2-3 organizations in the same number of years. Here are the excerpts of an interview with Mr. JH:


Q: Why have you changed 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: To get financially sound and stable before getting laid off the second time.

Q: So you knew you would be laid off in the year 2009?
A: Well I was laid off first in the year 2002 due to the first global economic slowdown. I had not got a full-time job before January 2003 when the economy started looking up; so I had struggled for almost a year without job and with compromises.

Q: Which number of job was that?
A: That was my third job.

Q: So from Jan 2003 to Jan 2009, in 6 years, you have changed 8 jobs to make the count as 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: I had no other option. In my first 8 years of professional life, I had worked only for 2 organizations thinking that jobs are deserved after lot of hard work and one should stay with an employer company to justify the saying ˜employer loyalty. But I was an idiot.

Q: Why do you say so?
A: My salary in the first 8 years went up only marginally. I could not save enough and also, I had thought that I had a ˜permanent job, so I need not worry about ˜what will I do if I lose my job. I could never imagine losing a job because of economic slowdown and not because of my performance. That was January 2002.

Only In... Malaysia

[True Story] An Idiot Bank Robber

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote "this. Put all your muny in this bag."

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had
seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.


TSOK: Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

Testimony of "Think Before You Speak"

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word. He knew better.

2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'

3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.' My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

4. And a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?' Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

[Story] There's No Charge For Love

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls.

He looked down into the eyes of a little boy. "Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat of the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"

"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller.

Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others,doing its best to catch up....

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.

The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.

"How much?" asked the little boy.

"No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

Hadith Of The Day - Mensyukuri Nikmat

Rasulullah SAW bersabda yang maksudnya:
”Sesungguhnya Allah mengurniakan kepada sesuatu kaum itu nikmat yang kekal berada bersama mereka selagi digunakan untuk menunaikan hajat mereka yang memerlukan . Apabila mereka ini berpaling daripada berbuat sedemikian maka Allah akan pindahkan nikmat tersebut kepada kaum yang lain pula.”
- Hadith Riwayat Tabrani